Sara Coughlin Much has been made of how important it is to DTR, or "define the relationship," in which you and your prospective partner sit down and agree upon the terms for your relationship. Are you casually dating, are you exclusive? Have you spelled out and agreed upon all those other supposedly crucial details? The idea is, after this conversation, you are on the same page and understand what you mean to each other. Honestly, DTR-ing sounds healthy and realistic and comforting. So, why didn't I do it? [PUNIQGOOGLESNIPMIX-1
defining the relationship questions
Co-authored by Jody Porowski , CEO of Avelist I told my long distance boyfriend that I was writing this article and asked if he had any tips for others in our position. He had some advice. Three words actually. "Don't do it. Hone those communication skills.
You might not want to overthink matters of the heart, but it's important to know where you stand... So before you ask "what are we? How long have we been hanging out? Romances don't always have to be a slow burn, but all relationships take some time to build.
My boyfriend and I have had this conversation a grand total of three times over the course of our 12-year, on-again-off-again relationship. The first time, when we were 14, he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend, and after a few days of thoughtful teenage consideration, I agreed. The second time, when we were 16 and one week into rekindling the flame after a six-month-long break , he asked me if we were officially back together, and I said yes — immediately. Ultimately, though, I made the decision — conscious or not — that I wanted to let him dictate the terms of this turning point. I spoke with him about it recently, wondering aloud if it was weird I was never the one to bring it up.
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